“A man’s heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)
I’m a little late with this piece because my wife and I had to rush from Naples, Florida, to Durham, North Carolina, to help my son, his fiancé, and her daughter through a tremendously difficult time. I won’t bore you with the personal details. Suffice it to say my son is going through a severe, significant emotional experience (S.E.E.).
That phrase is one of my dad’s contributions to my outlook on life. He taught me that some people need a “significant emotional experience” to get them on track. You know, like a two-handed swat with a canoe paddle upside the head. No mild tap with a feather, no sirree.
Some people are so stuck in their stinkin’ thinkin’ or self-destructive ways they require something so traumatic to happen to them that it stops them dead in the water. Once stilled, self-reflection kicks in while they’re floating there stunned. Metaphorically speaking, it’s a swift kick to the head to loosen their thoughts and start realigning them.
Such a significant emotional experience captures our full attention and drives us into introspection and self-examination that’s powerful enough to affect genuine change in our life’s direction. C’mon. You all know what I mean. We’ve all gone through it.
Most of us need a significant emotional experience to shake us from something as benign as having our lives on auto-pilot. Perhaps we’ve settled into a career path we think we’ll follow for decades. Surprise! Recent surveys reveal the following; “The average person will now change careers five to seven times during their working life according to career change statistics. With an ever increasing number of career choices, 30% of the workforce will now change careers or jobs every 12 months.” (careers-advice-online.com/career-change-statistics)
What causes such a profound course correction? Usually, it’s a significant emotional experience. If you’re born-again and spiritually aware, it’s often clear that the S.E.E. comes from the Lord as He adjusts our direction to fit with His plan for our lives rather than ours. How do I know this? First, I’ve lived it. Second, God’s word confirms it. “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9).
Sometimes, a significant emotional experience is a circumstance that kicks our proverbial backsides and starts the process. Other times, the S.E.E. is overwhelming to the point of despair. We feel as if our lives are crushed, there’s no hope, and all is darkness and death.
That’s what my son is going through and why we’re here to serve as stabilizers until he can again man the helm. This S.E.E. has caused him to reassess himself, his issues, and his life’s course, specifically career choice.
Suffice it to say, since July 22, his life has been a hellish emotional ride over one tsunami after the other.
But as we all know, waves calm eventually.
I’m reading Homer’s Odyssey as I prepare to teach a writing course at a new Christian School. There’s a lot of sailing involved in the story. A lot. Having grown up on a lake and becoming proficient with canoes, a small sailboat, and powered boats, I know a bit about navigating on open water. As a teenager, setting the boat’s helm so I could sit back and let the boat cruise on autopilot while I enjoyed my noontime repast was fun.
However, there were times when the steering cable on the pontoon would stick, and it took a hearty, even violent, kick to set the steering free so I could adjust course. As for the sailboat, I realized that if I didn’t use the rudder and tiller properly on my little sunfish sailboat, I would start fighting the wind and wind up frustrated, going nowhere. I wound up wrestling the rudder to get it set right so the wind would take us where the captain (me) wanted to go.
That’s a significant emotional experience – a kick to our life’s rudder to get us to change course.
Too many of us have stuck rudders that cause the sailboats that are our lives to cruise on autopilot. But what if the Wind of the Lord swings around to move us in another direction that the Captain of our lives has charted? If our rudder is stuck due to stinkin’ thinkin’ habits, weak character, fear of change, or laziness, we’ll find ourselves fighting the wind, getting off course, or drifting to a stop.
That’s when our rudder needs a hard kick to free it so we will reconsider our direction in life. A good kick at the rudder helps us S.E.E. where we’ve been, what’s become of us, where we are, and the directional change the Lord wants us to make to bring us to port safely.
That’s what my son is going through right now. The texts I’m getting from him show that the Lord is working on him intensely, driving home how real He is to my son, tempering his responses to bad news, and encouraging him with His word. After the kick a week ago, a transformation is taking place. He’s changing his life’s direction according to the Wind of the Lord as it swings around in new ways.
I know what my son is going through because I’ve been there – many times.
And so have you, dear reader.
When you see someone going through a significant emotional experience, come alongside them. Encourage them by just being present. Do what you can to support them. Let them know that as they go through their significant emotional experience, it just may be the Lord freeing them up to find a new direction in life.
It just took a good kick to the rudder to reset their course.
Shining the Light of God’s Truth on the Road Ahead
Pastor Jay Christianson
The Truth Barista, Frothy Thoughts